The way the cookie crumbles
by Dilapidated- queen-of-all
Summary: Draco and harry go on a quest to renew Their love and Draco's love for cookies!Cookie lovers unite! We shall rise again
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:I do not own Harry potter but this tragic romance is mine.A boy is seperated from his love of cookies.Oh the humanity!**

**Author Note:Yes it's about cookies at first! I don't actually expect anyone to read this okay? But any cookie lovers out there can all unite and agree with the problem that draco is Facing ..Yeah read the story and you'll understand ..Well probably not.Okay**

Chapter 1.) The cookie that crumbled!

"Damn You! You Stupid Cookie!" Cried a disgruntled Draco.He threw the broken crumbly cookie on the clean white tile floor.

He pouted as Harry came in with a quizzical look on his face.

" I thought I heard you yelling at a cooki.."He stopped as he saw the cookie on the floor and tried not to grin."..Oh.."

"Yes oh ! Do you know how hard it is to eat a cookie without it crumbling everywhere! Look at my robes!' Draco gestured at his silver silken robes.Harry looked at the three tiny little crumbs and fought the twitch building at the corners of his mouth.He was so used to Draco's little kid tantrums and he even found them amusing.

"Poor little Draco," said Harry pinching Draco's cheek."Do you want a lolly pop?Or perhaps a glass of milk?"

"Don't paytronise me!" Draco cried indignantly

"Oh so millions of other spoilt little rich kids are going into tantrums because their cookies crumbled on them?"

"Probably..and I am not a little kid! Would a little kid do this?" Draco swiftly walked over to his mate

Harry eeped and ran away.Draco was in close pursuit ,swearing at Harry who laughed.

"Harry! Look out!"

Just as he suspected Harry turned to look at him.Draco smirked and moved the tree to the right of Harry.

"OOOF."

"Oh Harry I'm sorry!" said Draco almost sincerely.

Harry groaned and said " Who are you?"

Draco looked alarmed for a second but seeing the look in Harry's eyes hit him on the head.Clearly forgetting that Harry had just run into a chestnut tree.

"You meant that!"Harry said as he pouted too.

"Well... sort of."Admitted Draco shrugging.

"Do you wan't me to kiss it better diddums?"

Without waiting for an answer he swooped over Harry, breathing teasingly on his pouting lips. Harry sighed and the two lay down under the tree romantically swapping spit..

**AAw thats not romantic.How can it be Draco has loved cookies since he was born.I alone will fight to renew his love of cookies even if no one will help me!**

**Ta ta**

**Love da Queen**

**XoXOxOxoX**


	2. The cookie of my eye

**Disclaimer: Me no own it mmmkay...You no suey yes... great!**

**A.N: Thanx SHOkashi not only for reading my story but reviewing your so kind and I'm guessing you like cookies .YaY!Thank you love da Queen**

Chapter two: The cookie of my eye

"Ugh I think I'm having withdrawal symptoms!Look at my beautiful eyes ..Ugh gods why!"Draco buried his head into his pillow , after examining his pale blood shot now gaunt face.

Harry behind his back was giving him a look that plainly meant Oh-My-God-You-Have-Got-To-Be-Kidding-Me.Draco actually thought he had withdrawal symptoms.He did look it but honestly who gets withdrawal from not eating cookies.It is so pathetic in Harry's eyes that it didn't even make him laugh.Harry didn't want Draco to think he didn't care but this was ridiculous.

" Draco you can't be having withdrawal from cookies..It..It just doesn't happen!"Reasoned Harry.

Draco raised his beautiful head from out of the depths of the pillow and said

"How do you know ?Has anyone you've every known tried to go cold turkey from cookies?"

" Well no... but why can't you just have enough to keep you straight?"

"You just don't understand it's not the fact that I don't want them But ...It...It's like you and I.When I was my angelic little self back in school, "Harry snorted at this but Draco ignored him and continued." and you rejected my friendship,I just couldn't be nice to you after that no matter how much I wanted you.It's a pride that I have.I have to honour it!"

"But you finally got what you wanted, pride or not." Harry argued smiling mischeiviously.

"With you it wasn't a matter of pride I needed you,I still do without you I'd die...

Oh No ...It's a flashback...Hold on tight

Draco's P.O.V 1st yr..._Why do I still have to come this school...I mean what if they found out what I am..Stupid father and that stupid old fool._

" Master...Draco do you have enough food?"Crabbe asked.

"I'm fine and I wouldn't eat your filth if you were the last wizard on earth!"Draco spat at him.

_I don't know why father insisted on having these two trolls protect me.. Or is that they're protecting the others...I'll have to look into it...Gods what is that.._

Draco sat back in his seat relaxing in the warmth that was currently engulfing him.He could feel someones heartbeat.He opened his eyes suddenly and it was all gone.He got up from his seat and opened the door of their compartment..Just in time to see a scruffy raven haired person walk into a compartment further ahead...

He gasped could he have found the person his father said he could be still looking for until he was an old man.._Can I get old..._

_There it is again I can nearly taste them._

"What's wrong with him?"Goyle asked Crabbe poking him with a pudgy finger.

"Probably low on blood..I offered him some before."Crabbe said

"What..oh yeah vampire!"Grunted Goyle.

Draco hissed to himself as he was brought back to reality by his "friends" two voices._If I didn't need them they would be gone!_Crabbe and Goyle are literally part troll.Because of their breed mixture they were immune to Draco's transfiguring bite.As much as Draco hated to admit it he needed the two buffoons even if they did taste horrible compared to the gourmet blood he got at home.He would only get small amounts of blood from school because he didn't want to reveal himself.Draco could walk in the light because of the peculiar mixture of blood in his "pureblood" family.His grandfather was half Veela ,his great grandfather was a elf (now extinct),his grandmother a descendant of Salazar slytherin and his mother is a vampire and his father is an ordinary evil wizard.

He caught an enticing scent of which he knew was his one and only soulmate.The veela blood in him though distant controlled him .Which is why he is so intimidating in rages.But it's interesting because of his vampire blood he was required to have a soulmate that would also be his soul provider of blood.Once he found his soul mate and formed an everlasting bond they would be destined to be the only providers for one an other.

Draco sought out the raven head ,a picture of which was burned into his mind.He quickly found drawn by the blazing red hair of the person next to him.He shoved his way forward eager to meet his life partener.When he reached them he scowled a Weasly..Blood Traitors!Never the less he introduced himself .Though with a well aimed remark in the traitors direction.The boy who lived stood before him his fathers enemy.His groaned inwardly but stuck out his hand eager to feel the pulsating blood of the one he loved.

30 seconds later

_He cannot reject me it's unheard of! How dare he not accept my offer..I would rather die than be soulmates with an ignorant little scraggly headed ,scrawny ,brilliant eyed oh so...No I mustn't think it..Oh god if I don't have him I'll die before I reach the legal drinking age!Now that I've found him I only have until I'm eighteen to bond..But I won't he ..He insulted my dignity..But he's so warm... Damn!_

End flash back more later...Promise

"Flashback?"Questionned a concerned Harry.

"Yeah.."

"That happen often?"

"Increasingly since I now have you!God kill me now," pleaded Draco suddenly remembering that he was feeling sorry for himself and having withdrawals.

"I'm not that bad am I?"..Wait don't answer that!"

Harry started as Draco dry retched.

_What have I gotten myself into?_

**The End ...of the second chapter hehehehe you thought it was over.**

**I know I used quotes out of charlie and the chocolate factory I can't help it's just so darn good looking..Damn I did it again..**

**Just think of the cookies..It's all Okay!**

**Ta ta love da Queen**

**XOXoXOX**


	3. MMM cookies with Milo!

**Disclaimer :If cookies are main part of the Harry potter series someting is really wrong mmmmkay! Ok I don't own Harry Potter..And I never will.. :' (**

**Helloo peoples (and cookies! mmmm)**

**I'm soooo sorry but there's still a fair few flashbacks coming.Yes I know Grrrrrr me..eh sue me...no wait dont!**

**I also want to thank these cool peoples...**

**goddessa39****...DAMN STRAIGHT! He He we're so weird well I'm weird but I can live with that!  
****maliaphire****...Yeh I have no idea where it came from but..what can I say? Brilliance! ..(Coughnot) ay who said that? oh wait that was me..What was I thinking?  
****squidy6192****...Yeah they're such a cute couple! ...sigh... Mabye they will adopt 13 kids hmmm I'd stroke my beard but well I'm a chick ..Oh well I'll just pretend I have a beard!  
****countrykrys****...Yeah sorry about the not updating soon part I was on holidays we have no computer there and I was watching sydney win the AFL Grand Final.Also sorry bout the flashbacks. **

**Thank You All Your Such a great crowd! Lets do it for the cookies!**

**Chapter three:Milo cookies MMMM**

"Umm.. how can I say this he's completely out of his head...Nooo..Well yeah he is.. I mean cookies! What the?I'm not sure if I'm finding this cute anymore."

"HARRY!"

Harry put his hand over the reciever.

"WAIT I'M TALKING!"

"IT'S WEASLE KING ISN'T IT!" (Ron had finally learnt how to use a telphone with lots of private tutoring with Hermione.wink wink)With a new energy Draco got out of bed and leant against the door frame.

"Tell him he looks like he sneezed in a milo jar."Draco sneered sadistically.

"Must you always be mean to my friends?"

"Well I'm only mean to Weasle and Granger..Oh yeah they're your only friends."

"Get your ass back into bed or shut up!"

"Oooh your going all dominant...I like it.!"

Harry smiled but pointed towards the bedroom.Draco sighed and threw his arms up in the air storming away.Harry watched to make sure he was gone.

"Stop looking at my ass!" Draco shouted as he retreated

"Don't give yourself that much credit!"Harry yelled back.

"I don't look like I sneezed in a milo tin do I?"Ron whined on the other end.

"Sure you don't."

"DRACO!GET OFF THE OTHER LINE!"

"Yes mum." With a raspberry he put his phone down and threw himself onto the bed.._Ugh I feel all eeww _he thought to himself._I need a cookie..You can't have a cookie.But I want one.Nooo!God I'm hungry.Oh yeah that's what I yelled at harry for.I can't ask him now he's mad at me.Oh my god am I actually considering someone elses feelings.Ugh what was I thinking! At least I'm not sick anymore.Better not tell harry that or he'll stop feeling sorry for me!_

"Sorry mate! It's that time of month,"continued Harry.

"Oh ..ummm.."

"I'm kidding he's probably just hungry.'

"Or he's just being himself!"

"Yeah well he's a bit better now."

"Hey do you think I could come over and tease him with cookies."

"Somehow I don't think that'll be a good idea.Bye"

"Aloha.Didyou know that means goodbye and hello?"

"Yes!"

_Poor Draco.I shouldn't snap at him he's sick..maybe I'll just check to see if he's okay. _Harry crept round the corner and peeked into the bed room.

"Yes!OhGod yes!

"What the hell are you doing!"

"Umm I guess it's too late to say nothing?"Draco grinned sheepishly

" Well ..I..I.was..I wss mknn "

"Mumbling much.."

"I was making the cookie make out with the barbie doll." Draco blurted looking at the floor.

"Huh I thought I hid all the cookies..wait what! Uh why ?"

"Because I just can't take it any more! and I'm hungry and tired."

That was a bit weird but hey nothing is out of the ordinary when your partner is waging a war against cookies.Or uh love .Harry sat on the bed ant threw the ridiculously ugly woman doll on the floor.

"You know you can come to me ,dont you?You trust me don't you?"

"Yes but you were in a bad mood."Sulked Draco pouting.

"Aaw.Let me make it all better."

Harry leant over draco breathing heavily on his neck teasing him with his lips and tongue.

"Now your just making me hungry!"

"Sorry you haven't eaten in a while huh?"

Harry tilted his neck to the side anddraco practically leapt at him.Helicked the soft skin of Harrys neck and bit down hard.He made Harry cry out which made him hold Harry closer.Finally a decent meal.

**Tada wasn't too bad and no flashbacks yay!**

**Thanks again to every one who reviewed.I'd like to give you all a reward a cookie all dipped in chocolate but they don't exist..Or do they .BUM BUM BUM that was supposed to be dramatic music.**

**TATA**

**Love da QUEEN**

**XoxoXOXoxoX **

**P.S**

**By the way if you don't have Milo it's like a chocolatey energy drink think that isn't actually chocolate.**


	4. do you want milk with that

**Disclaimer: I know nothing!..sorry I'm a freak and own nothing!  
my little notelet: All you people that reviewed rock my socks...p.s they really love you!**

**chapter 4: do you want milk with that**

Aagh god damn you Draco!You and your stupid night terrors!Bloody GRRRRR! Harry stuffed his fingers in his ears and tried to sleep...Again.This was proving quite a task as Draco was beside him swearing,kicking scratching and screaming like a little girl.Harry for the fifth time that night took his finger out of his ear and gave the blonde and sharp poke in the ribs.Harry then quickly pretended to be asleep as Draco woke.He felt the boy calm down next to him and roll over muttering and cursing his sweet little head off.Apparently Pansey had been trying to eat something little and fluffly named Princess ,Draco was clearly pissed.Harry meerly raised an eyebrow and decided that tomorrow had to be the day.It was for Draco's own good.But he wouldn't be willing to go oh hell no..This called for a cunning plan hehehe!

Monkey's and lemons and apes oh MY!

"Draco I've got an idea! To keep your mind off cookies how about we go to the cinema!"

"Ooh the cimena! Where they trap the muggles in a giant box and make them perform for my own amusement!"

"Ah...Yeah!" Harry bit his bottom lip and smiled fakely like a tour guide on prozac.

Draco looked at him and narrowed his eyes.

"What are you up to?I'm not doing it you can't make me!"

"Really!Well thats news! How about if our internet is disconnected!" Threatened Harry irrationally.

Draco gave him a look that clearly meant you wouldn't dare.But then knowing Harry being an arrogant pig headed gryffindor said."I'll be good,what are you doing now ?"He whined as Harry picked up the phone.

"calling a taxi," Harry said simply.

"Why?"

"So we can go to the meeting."

"What meeting? Why a taxi? The man...could..could rape us and you being the delicate little flower that you are..."

"Oh but you a nice strong vampire would be there to protect me!."

"I'm only part vampire."Draco pouted

"What do you have against public transport?" Harry regretted even asking he would probably get a Don't go there girlfriend.

"Ugh..Perverted old men sitting there and peoples unclean hands opening the dirtydoors ..you know they probably don't even wipe their as"  
"Draco that's enough we're are going by Taxi I mean you can't just appear into a roomful of people.Plus I'll be with you."

"Oh I feel so much better."Draco swooned sarcastically.

Harry hit him on the arm.(That's how guys show affection.)

The taxi arrived and Draco gave Harry an appraising look that made Harry sigh.The blonde stared pointedly at the door handle and Harry with mock enthusiasm opened it for him.They eventually startedalbeit with a lot of complainingand shuddering from Draco.  
"Where to?" asked the cabbie gruffly.

"Uh..52st Duncast mental health,drug and welfare clinic."Nervously answered Harry shooting scared looks at Draco who was now glaring at him.Instead of Yelling and screaming in the usual three yr old method way Draco was mute ignoring Harry completely muttering incoherent curses.  
After an awkward silence They arrived at the clinic .Draco dropped the mute act and screamed at Harry.  
"I'm not insane and I don't need some muggles help"  
It's unknown what harry did but draco went in quietly rubbing a sore nipple.  
"Well this is it. Cookie lovers anonymous"

**Tadah! that was supposed to be that thing magicians say when they reveal the thing that makes the whole magic trick wothwhile.Sorry this chapters pretty short but meh you'll probably get over it!  
Thanx all you who reviewed I love you!  
love da queen**


	5. Pardon the interruptioncookies

**Disclaimer:Do yah really think my though extraordinary powers of cookie eating could be behind the books no I don't own the rights to the harry potter books or movies.**

**Hey peoples you all rock so damn much and may I say the fourth movie was superb apart from a dissapointing begining.Well would you read me I'm writing like I have a carrot in my arse.Yes and it's extremely uncomfortable or is is it?Oh the bath scene in the GOF is soo funny!Soz too bout the wait .exams and holdidays you know? oh yeah pray for me I'm gettin my tonsils out thursday! eek**

**what is this chapter about? This is the first part of a story about how they became "friends". the tamer and less raunchy part of the story.**

**A little bit about whats going on in this chapter..**

**this chapter is set in their lets say fifth year okay ..Draco finds that he can't ignore the heart palpatating bloodsucking truth and accepts that the ignoarnt scruffy haired harry is his destined one and only in the second half of this flashback info it tells of how they got..got together and why harry doesn't turn when draco eventually bites him I might even add in a little story about crabbes hair yeah that'd be funny oh you wouldn't have a clue what's goin on read it and find out.Or suffer the wrath of an even longer wait!**

**shhhhoooooooozooooooooooooooooooooom FLash bAck! LOOOOOOOOOONG OONE**

**Chapter 4: Pardon the interruption..but your cookies are ready!**

"This is Bullocks!"

"Well you should have thought of the consequences of not coming to my class!"

"BUT WITH HIM ARE YOU CRAZY?"

"Don't you dare question MY SANITY! My dog has pink toes.Now if you'll enter detention potter."

Harry trudged in slowly .Snape hurried him up by pushing him by the head into his seat.Harry sat there muttering and cursing incoherently under his breath.

"Stupid..mother...your mother...greasy...fricken...bast."

He sat in his chair giving "the death glare" to the black board.

"Trust him to be late.Ooh look at me I'm Draco Malfoy I can do whatever I want!"

"Damn straight I can potter.You'd better not forget it! And I don't think you could pull off being me .. blonde hair ..NAH-AH!

Draco sat casually in the chair next to Harry seeming calm and collected but inside he was freaking out man!_Oh God Oh Shit we're touching shoulders_.Inside Draco's brain there was a little him jumping up and down biting his manicured nails nervously._HeHeHe he's got funny hair..No bad me don't look at his neck. _Draco bit his lip and closed his eyes.

"You know when you do that you look constipated." summerized Harry as he closely observed Draco.

"Then stop staring at me however hard for you it may be." Draco quipped not even opening his eyes.

"Oh how cute they're sitting next to each other."Snape drawled mockingly Draco raised his eyebrows in that oh so cute way.

"Potter you're here because your a dunce that obviously thinks it's amusing to not come to my classes.Draco because because you thought it would be funny to dye Crabbe's hair pink with ingredients from my cupboard.How ever fetching it may have looked.You two are going to make a permanent sticking potion,the instructions are on the board.I will be back in three quarters of an hour.Well.. go on make nice!" He smirked and left the potions room with a sweep of his billowing cloak.

"Potter go get the ingredients. Or are you unable of comprehending words with more than three syll-a-bles."

Harry stuck his finger up and went to get the ingredients from the store cupboard at the opposite end of the room.

Draco sucked air through his teeth and forced himself to have will power._Will power Draco..Don't stare at his ass don't stare at it...aaagh that's soooooo damn hot.Look at his hips...OH SHIT!. NOT NOW!_

_Go away go away...But what if?..Aagh no think ugly thoughts.Draco thought as he waved air onto his crotch with his hands..Uh ugly okay okay..ummm..Pansy in a bikini._draco cringed at the mere thought but that still didn't fix his "problem".He held his breath knowing full well that that would do nothing.

A clink of glass vials announced Harry's return.

"Killing yourself are you? No don't let me interrupt."

Draco scoweld and and yanked the jars from the gryffindor's hands.Harry let out a cry of protest but Draco argued.

"Oh come on you suck! Do you wan't us to get a good mark or not?"

Harry sighed and slumped back in his chair pouting.Draco looked at him wanting to kiss the pout from his lips.But he shook the images out of his head and went to work.Lucikly for Draco's problem they were not physically touching.Draco hadn't got rid of the feelings he got when he was in 10 metres of Harry.A feeling that sadly was lost as was proper appreciation of his other half as they moved in together.

Draco's hands were shaking and he was sweating .He accidentally poured a little too much of some weird white powder.but that didn't matter did it? Oh well.

_Stir three times...Mmm he smells good..NO..Okay stir three times..oh crap I did that twice...Ummm ..? _Draco started panicking and a little._Okay just stop and breathe_

'HE HE HOOOOO HE HE HOOOOOOOO"

"Uh your not having a baby are you?Oh no not another teen pregnancy!"Harry cried in mock suprise slapping his hands to his cheeks.Draco pushed him in what he thought was a friendly way but Harry kind of over reacted.He looked at Draco in suprise and narrowed his eyes. He pushed the blonde back hard.hard enough to knock him off his seat.Draco landed on the hard stone letting out one of those cartoon "OOF'S".

"Hey that hurt! You don't just go pushing people off their chairs! It's just not right! Geez Potter what's your problem?"

"Oh I'm so sorry here let me get that for you." said Harry pulling out draco's chair.Poor Naive spoilt Draco didn't even see it coming.

He gave Harry a smug look and a millisecond before his delicate tush hit the seat, the chair was pulled out from under him.Causing poor Draco to again fall on the dirty mite infested stone.

"Shit! That's it four eyes!" Draco lunged at Harry who ran behind the table.Yes I'm well aware they could have fought with wands but when those manly primal urges get going you just can't think rationally.

Draco growled ..yes growled he even felt his fangs extend a little.Which is what made Harry hesitate long enough for Draco to launch himself over the table and knock Harry face first onto the ground.Draco straddled his back and pointed his wand at the back of Harry's head.

He let out a triumphant cry ."HaHa now who's lau.." Unfortunately or luckily or whatever .The cauldron which became unbalanced after Draco's leap fell in slow motion.Pouring a permanent sticking potion over both the boys.Harry shuddered as the hot potion dripped down his back.

"That wasn't finished was it?" Harry asked nervously.Draco's answer or lack there of was all Harry needed to know.

"We might have a problem."

"Re-he-heely."Draco said sarcastically.

"Oh Shit!Oh fuck Oh god!Oh No!" Harry cried panicking and trying to get free from the death grip of Draco's knees.

Draco fought back a moan.

"Please can you just stop moving!"Draco cried gritting his teeth.

"I don't particulaly enjoy having you sit on me and I'm going to keep trying to get free,I don't care how much you enjoy seeing me panic!"

Harry continued his fruitless escape.Draco bit his fist and closed his eyes concentrating again on some of the ugliest things he's ever seen._Michael jackson,Fraser Gerrick ,Goof (sorry kirsten), Hagrid aaah shit shit shit PANSY PANSY!A CHI-HUAHUA!_

"Am I safe in assuming that that's your wand ?"Harry asking not thrashin about or even moving a single inch whilst also trying not to focus on the extra pressure of something long and hard poking him in the back.

"Well I told you not to move!" Draco cried exasperated and totally embarassed.

there was a long and awkward silence.

"You could have told me."Harry said quietly breaking the silence.

"Told you what ? That I'm gay ! Or that I'm in love with you and your the only one I will ever be able to love!"

and that your hung like a horse Harry thought to himself.

"Not exactly what I wa thinking.You could have just told me the friction was too much."Harry said moving his head around to look Draco in the eye's.

"Oh.." Draco lowered his eye's and Harry rested his head in his arms trying to process the information he just recieved.Draco swore at himself in his mind and tried to think from Harry's perspective.

"Hey Draco."

Draco was a little startled and suprised that after all these years Harry had just called him Draco.

"MMM?"

"What's snape going to think?"

"Oh shit!" Draco groaned

Though he couldn't stop himself from smiling then laughing and finally going into complete hysterics.Harry stared the first true laugh he had heard Draco give and it was at his own expense.Harry too laughed.So there they both were both laughing together on the floor in not the greatest position to be caught in..but as the story goes that is precisely what happens.Snapes triumphant footsteps echoed around the dreary dungeons.He wore a psychotic smile expecting to see two corpses rather tha two laughing gay guys in an akward position.( yes harry was gay beforehand .How else can you explain how he likes riding brooms?)

Snape opened the door quietly and slowly wanting to bask in the glory of his own genius instead when he opened the door he shook his head and muttered to him self and walked back out again.Snape stood in the cooridor in complete silence he composed himself and strode into the room.This time both boys noticed his presence.

"Oh..Hello professor." Draco said cheerfully Harry waved a hand carelessly but buried his head in his arm.Snapes eyes moved from the way the two boys were "sitting",to the state of Draco's robes ,the suspicious shape receeding under Draco's robes and copius amounts of some sticky substance that reached from Draco's back to potter ribcage.

All snape could say was ..."mummy!" and at that precise moment I think he lost all control over his bowels and shat himself!

**It's a mexican pirate?**

**Soz i 'm listening this queer ass song.**

**Hope you all enjoyed it and thanx 2 all you people that read my slightly more hilarious weird story cookie warfare Luv you all Dahlings**

**da queen**

**P.S Hope you pplz all went or go well in your exams buh bye**


	6. cookie lovers anonymous part2

**disclaimer I dO nOt OWn iT!**

**My notey-m-bob thank you so much every1 for reviewin g I had a really long hiatus over da holidays to escape from the heat of my home town at the mo I'm practicall naked sitting in front of a fan..not as sexy and tanned as I'd hope but hey kirsten i'm more tanned than you hahahahahahaha!**

**this is a frollow on from the chapter i wrote before the flashback bcoz i had a mental blank an accidentally wrote this own first.. slaps own wrist anyway within the next two chap you'll finall get the answers you want and raunchy vampire sex! ne way read on and review or die if you do not try!..I'm not kidding**

**My hols were good hope urs were 2 write 2 me bout it seriously i'm bored **

**Cookie lovers anonymous part 2 end of phase 1**

This is possibly the most excruciatingly humiliating of my entire life apart from well that intsance with Harry hehe he good times.Draco stood just inside the door fighting himself inside his mind completely unaware that sixteen other people were looking at him.

This is Great! I mean that sarcastically! Can you be sarcastic inside your own head? No! That was sarcasm so obviously !Your a riot you know that!Don't tell me that was sarcasm too!Clever boy..We've been over this before when I start talking to you you don't talk back comprende'..Fine I wont then and you can die a lonely death as a senile old man...We.heh.hell if thats the way you're going to be I'm just not going to talk to you!..

"Uh...Sir you can sit down if you like."

Draco sat down and bit his tongue it was going to be so damn hard not to insult these losers.He looked at the guy on his right who looked like he'd swallowed a whole sack of cookies and was mopping sweat off his forehead.The blonde moved the chair an inch or so to the left and looked at his other neighbour.OH GOOD GOD ! REPHRASE THAT!BAD GOD BAD GOD!WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE? WERE THEY BORN DEFECTIVE OR DID THE COOKIES DO IT? pLEASE NOT THE COOKIES.!

"So Mr..M." said a smart looking lady in the middle reading down a long list of names"Can we call you Big M?"

"Excuse Me?" Draco asked frowning "Are you calling me fat? Surely not judging by the size of this fucker next to me?Or does this have something to do with irony? Is his name actually tiny? And no you may not call me big M!" Draco said indignantly crossing his arms on his chest.

"Please big M we do not tolerate swearing in this intitution so mind your mouth."

"It's okay liv I like a man with spunk!" said the guy next to him.

Please do not let that thing be hitting on me pleaded Draco in his head.Eventually Draco began to feel rather amused even if it was at the expense of the others.He even made up a story in which his mental anguish and troubled family life had made him turn to cookies for comfort.

Harry watched as Draco walked out of the building smiling..Smiling was it just Harry or was something wrong with this scenario.

Draco spotted him and jogged over laughing gleefully.

'Hey babe !"he smiled as he pulled harry into a one armed hug "ready to go?"

"uh..yeah! let's go...so how was the meeting?"

"You know it was better than daytime TV! They're absolutely Pathetic!" He exclaimed ecstatically.

"Mm" said Harry reminessing to Draco's Barbie incidentand withdrawals.Wow they really must be bad to be called pathetic compared to what he did.

"..And there was this one lady and she really smelled and she walked like she had a carrot shoved up her ass...WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?" Draco cried looking at his apple in absolute horror

"What ? I'm not seeing anything!"

"There it's digusting..it..it's positivly pulsating!"

Harry focused his eyes on the apple and saw a slight bump.He sighed and kept walking he turned around and saw Draco stopped and staring at his apple his face only millimetres away from it .

"IT'S A GODDAMN PIMPLE! IT IS I SWEAR ! IT'S MUTATED!"

"It's probably just the hormones they feed them." reasone d Harry pulling on Draco's hand.

"Oh I'm watchin you! Yeah I'm watchin you ...you sick FREAK piece of APple!"

**Phase one is oveR and phase two has just begun! Mwhahahaha..hahahah.haha I was trying to laugh to a tune in my head but you just can't hear it can you? oh well I was talking to the computer..It hates me.. thats what alan rickman(snape) says in hitchhikers guide to the galaxy he does the voice of marvin tear he was great ne way so long and thanx for all the fish**

**love da queen**

**ps hahahahaaa...hahahahaaahaaa**


	7. pardon interupption 2 breaker breaker

**Disclaimer: Ha yes i'm a british writer hawhaw no of course i don't own the rites to the story and such are you mentally disadvantaged? ...what the**

**my notey-m-bob: Um yes I know sue me! no don't!okay I will explain... a whale vagina swallowed my house and I no longer had internet connection and Ihad to live in the whale for months and thats where i met mat...I had to survive off tree bark and electrirical appliance...no cookies and thats the god honest truth! well no it isn't but thats more amusing than me saying um school computer virus's and sinical bitches slowed me down.Oh My god teddy geiger! how hot is he ...Oh yeah! oh and you have to listen to the game by end of fashion it's my favourite song ever!**

**Okay this is another flash back to when they were stuck together and snape shat himself okey doke this is a real raunchy version and isn't a necessity to read for you to be able to get the whole story mmmmkay..Gooood onwards to hot raunchy man sex!**

Flashback! Um this isn't where I parked my car...

Draco and Harry lay and sat awkwardly in silence ,as the Greasy haired professer lay fainted in his own filth.Harry sniffed and whispered to Draco.

"I think we made him shit himself."

he looked over his shoulder at Draco and they burst out laughing.

Snape was found minutes later and was left there as the house elves didn't want to get covered in human excrements (pooh ...hehe pooh.)

AD Break...

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moo juice.the new breakthrough dietry juice.99 moo.1 juice. Now only 13 dollars a glass but hurry limited time only stocks wont last terms and conditions apply batteries not included.

Later that day

Harry and Draco ..I'll make a celeb name for them you know like tomkat and brangelina...ummm...Harrraco...Drarry yeah lets roll with it.

so... Drarry had been relocated to the hospital wing (which i was about to call infirmary because I've been watching too much prison break)

Many unsticking spells had been tried as well as many potions .They even tried to will themselves apart but no dice.So now it was just Drarry (Draco and Harry) for the night all alone in a secluded little bed.draco adjusted his position as much as possible and spoke.

"umm Harry..you know those packages I got every week?..Well they weren't sweets."

"But I saw cookies ."

'"Well yeah cookies are fricken awesome but I'm trying to tell you something."

"Why?"

" Because you deserve to know..."draco shifted awkwardly " There was blood in the packages...Harry I'm well..I'm a vampire" Draco stared at the back of Harrys head. Only just hoping to be accepted for the moment.

"But at every meal you eat.. I don't understand!"

"I love food and it's still a necessity for me to live but if I don't drink blood I'll die of thirst.That's reall the only vampiric trait I have aprt from being a little photosensitive"

_lucky we're in england or that might be a problem _thought harry

"Ha I always said you were an evil servent of satan and hey I was right!"

Draco frowned at his beautiful soulmate and argued "I'm not all vampire I'm also veela ,elf and wizard."

Harry mulled it over in his mind.Beauty grace, slender body,ha arrogance,an almighty temper and over protectivness.Hey it all fits.

"But why ?' Harry thought out aloud.

"Why what Harry?"

" Oh um ...why tell me?"

Draco sighed lust longing and sadness in his eyes.

"Don't freak out okay?"

"Well I can't exactly run away..can I?"

" Well what I said before was true.Because of my genetics I'm destined to have a one and only,terribly corny I know.A soul mate, the missing link to my existence .A being who if they agree ,will be part of me physically and spiritually .If they were to die so would I."

"physically...?"

"Don't be sick potter..it's sort of like having another heart beating insync with yours an everlasting warmth."

" Still why tell me?"

Draco groaned inside his head honestly he probably wouldn't love him if he knew he was so dense.

"Harry .." Draco whispered his head bent so close that his hair tickled the back of harry's neck."It's you"

"But why did you choose me..You always acted as if you hated me!" Harry cried.

"No.. well.. Yes..I didn't choose you destiny did!" he said exasperated.

"so if you had a choice you wouldn't have chosen me?"

"Harry i had a choice your the one thing I've ever really wanted!"

"so now I'm a possesion!

"That's not what I said!."

"But it's what you meant! You only need me to satisfy your "cravings"!You would never have chosen me I mean look at me!"

Draco looked at the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.The only being Draco had ever met who was true to himself.A gracious fiery spirit full of life.A soul longing to be loved and be able to love.Draco closed his eyes , bracing himself for the retaliation as he lay himself lightly across harrys back.He ran a hand through harrys hair.He whispered in a frightened voice.

"Your beautiful and I...I love you."

"No you don't!

"Why don't you want me to love you!"

"Your to good for me!"

"No!" Draco yelled pushing himself fully off Harry's back.He rolled the astonished confused boy onto his back and stood up and whispered ."no..Im not worthy." subconciously thinking _hey I'm not stuck to him forever with glue..DaMN!_

Draco walked calmly out of the cubicle and then ran he needed a place to be alone.If harry didn't want him he didn't want life!

he paced backwards and forwards his eyes red and his face strained.Fiunally the door opened.Draco strode in and collapsed into the corner crying.It wasn't the fact that He wanted or need ed Harry.it was the fact that he wanted harry to be happy.If Harry couldn't be happy with him he reasoned that he was just causing Harry misery.it would be better for Harry if he Draco was gone.A box of cookies appeared out of thin air hovering temptingly in font of dracos' devastated broken face.Draco's face wet and tear stained smiled weakly and said to the cookies

"Not Now.'

draco put his head into his arms and realizing what he must do extended his fangs.He let out a sob that was harry and sunk his teeth into his arm.

"Noooo!"

**ooh will Draco die why did harry reject him all will be found out in next weeks episode of pathetic soapie that won't last..**

**Okay so I lied but my fingers hurt you'll get hot raunchy man sex in the next 1 yes flashback ugh I feel sooo dirty.anyway thanx every1 n i hope u 4give but if you don't i understand sob...goodbye**

**K love you all heaps n heaps**

**tata**

**love da queen**


	8. pardon3 test 1test2

**Disclaimer:that's right Mr girraffe all the...Helloooo I do not own it!**

**hey this is my note coming to you from...australia! okay firstly I'm gonna endorse some stuff he's short he's funny he's worth lots of money...Rove tuesdays 9:30...amon buchanan no.32 for the sydney swans OH YEah and add ten to that number for paul bevan yeah baby..I dont know whats goin on today! Kablah i think finally all the cookies have gotten to me after all they're a sometimes food!Okay just some queries do you think that i shuld do a rocky horror fic harry potter themed..I mean how hot would draco look in little gold short shorts!**

**any way vamanos to the story...legolas is hot I love jack sparrow go end of fashion!Plus my new crush will anderson he's so damn funny .**

Chapter whatever it is ...

Harry sat on the bed tears rolling down his confused beauiful face.He picked up his wand and accioed his invisibilty cloak running after Draco.As he was running he realised that the only reason he had reject Draco's love because he was scared.Scared because every one he loved ended up dead.

"I..I...Love ..Him! Oh no what have I done!" he sobbed as he almost ran head first into a suit of armour that yelled after him ,YOUR MAMA!

Harry ran up the stairs and watched as Draco paced. He put his cloak on and followed Draco into the room of requirment.Ineed something to make him feel better..I need something to make him feel better.hey he does love cookies.Harry waved the newly appearing box of cookies in front of Draco's face.He watched Draco's wavering smile and turned to put the cookies down.he turned back in time to see the pale beauty sink his fangs into his own arm.Harry scremed and threw off his cloak.

"No Draco Please ! DON'T!"

Draco raised his head sadly his mouth bloodstained.he turned his head dejectedly from carry and slowly walked away,his arm dripping blood onto the wooden floorboards.He sat slumped on an inviting leather couch in the centre of the room, head in hands.Harry hesitantly made his way over to him ,he sat beside the blonde hugging him into his chest.Draco sobbed as Harry tenderly lifted his hurt arm and wiped away the blood.Harry kissed the wound gently and heard Draco whimper.His lips played lightly over the porcelain skin skin sucking teasingly,he felt Draco tense into him but kept sucking.He never took his eyes off the slytherin princes head.Draco raised his eyes and saw Harry watching him the emerald eyeslit Draco's forlorn face.

Draco sat straight his face dignified again ,he lowered his now tingling arm and stared into harry's eyes.He smiled.Harry gave draco a wide grin and was pushed back gently as the couch somehow transormed itself into a majestic bed(ooooohh scandalous).Draco straddled Harry's waist and leant over his face, a teardrop falling neatly onto his nose.Draco ran his fingers through the unruly mess of hair, the little him inside his head lay fainted adn shocked.Draco laughed to himself and kissed the legendary scar.He let his lips skim harry's face until he reached the quivering tear drop.He felt Harry's hands playing with the folds of his cloaks hood and pulled away slightly.He was about to say something when Harry began to take off his cloak,he reached under Draco's jumper gently lifting it over his head.Taking less time to rip Draco's shirt off entirely.His hands slid over Draco's chest while draco undressed Harry's top half.Harry raised his hands to Draco's waist but Draco threw him back onto the pillow.He placed a cold hand on harry's neck and pushed his lips onto Harrys scraping thm slightly with his fangs .he teased harry's mouth open with his tongue his closed eyes picturing his soulmate.Harry put his arms around Draco and pulled him closerhis tongue searched Draco's mouth stopping hesitantly at the fangs before he pierced his tongue on one then the other.His hands clenched tighter on draco's back.He ran his bleeding tongue over draco'she heard the blonde moan and felt him press tighter and harder against Harrys strong body.

Draco's hands reached to harrys pants undoing them his tongue lashed at harrys lips and moved on carefully avoiding his neck.He sucked and nipped Harrys chest making his breathing hitch as his smooth hands massaged his hips his mouth moving gradually to join them as harry's pants fell to the floor.Draco looked into Harry's eyes and heard him say don't bite.Draco 's lips sucked gently at the tip of Harry's "other head" making him gas and raise his hips to meet him before draco buried his head between the powerful legs.his lips and tongue massaged purposly grazing his teeth slightly alon his parteners hard phallus..harrys hands pushedsoftly into the shining silver head of hair between his legs His toes digging into the bed.Draco's right hand pulled him up further .He swallowed Harry further inside and the raven haired boy moaned gutterally panting.But his blonde partner was merciless.Draco blew air out his nose tickling Harry unbearably (sorry there's music from cosentino in my head he is AWESOME the music at the start daaa daadaaadaa daaadaaadaaa a violin maybe it's daaa doooodoooodooo dododo da dadada. it's classical ne way...SEX ) .but then he stopped just like that he left harry panting with his hands still entwined in Draco's hair .Draco untangled harry's hands and kissed them he then began undoing his pants.harry who had recovered minimally pushed Draco away and took off the very expensive pants and the satin boxershorts touching every inch of him as he did.Harry worked his way back up.sucking Draco's pedicured toes running his bottom lip over draco's thight and dusting his hands up draco's calves and behind his knee and got a reaction he hadn't expected.Draco laughed then looked at Harry horrified. But his partener continued his exploration now with a micheivious glint in his eyes.Harry ran his hands up Dracos inner thigh his mouth following slowly.Draco moaned againas harry reached the former offender of his personal space (Draco's penis remember uh I hope thats your wand ?you gt it ? yep okay god I'm so turned on right now.)he took the hHard penis into his mouthlicking under and tickling the foresking whilst a hand travelled back to Draco's kneeHe started tickling him and draco yelped and laughed trying to escape the hands but welcome the mouth .Eventually sacrificing his own pleasure he pulled harry's head up by the hair.Harry surface rubbing his head.

"Ow!'

"Well don't do that!"

"What? This?" Harry reached down and tickled again.Draco growled and kicked out a little too hard.Harry fell off the bed ungracefully almost landing on his face..draco panicked and apologised for all that he was worth.And that's alot as he bent down to help Harry up .Harry leapt onto him dragging him down and kissing him into submission regaining the passion.Harry ran a hand up draco's neck and felt him shiver and tense. Harry lay over Draco pushing his head into the crook of the porcelain neck.his lips lingering just over Draco's skin until he found a perfect spot.he began kissing lightly then ferociously as Draco moaned and tried not to attack Harry's own neck.He lost control when harry began nipping draco cried out and flipped harry over onto his back the look of hunger in dracos' eyes was too much for Harry to deny.Harry pulled Draco full on top of him and whispered seductively into his ear bite me please.Harry wrapped his legs around Draco's waist pulling him in.Draco looked into harry's eyes and pushed they both cried out as Draco entered Harry.He ran his hands over Harrry's neck ready to mark him for eternity as his and his alone. He lowered his head sucking then extending his fangs he bit down into harrys neck.Harry Gasped and cried but still held draco closersimultaneously tightening his grip around draco's tapered waist.Draco moaned and thrust Harder tasting harry's flesh.Harry dug his fingernails into Dracos back.Draco licked a stray trickle of blood and sucked at harry's neck his whole body pulsating.He slipped his hands between them gripping harry's throbbing erection and thrust ,sucking at his neck and rubbing harry .harrys legs tightened and fingers clenched with evry thrust and bite.The began rocking together .Draco ached for release but wanted Harry feel good. He ground his hips withdrawing and drving back in.Harry started gcrying out again his body tremblings sweat trickling over his bites and scratches Draco sensing him rubbed and thrust harder nearing completion They screamed in Agony and pleausre as tehy came together .A bond of sexual passion They lay trembling and shakin Draco cleaning the wound on harry neck with his mout then leant to harry and kissed him passionately pulling himself out of harry who whimpered with pleasure he inspected the welts on dracos back and smiled kissing his true love againpulling his head coloser and sliiping beneath the covers began to cuddle

Where had ther passion gone perhaps it hd left with draco's sanity.


End file.
